Episode Eight - The episode before THE EPISODE

In light of the previews for tomorrow’s episode, it seems almost cruel of Chris Harrison to not only subject us to another episode before, and even crueler that it was an episode where pretty much nothing happened.  Thank god for Clare’s sister, the female Danny Devito, for at least bringing some excitement to the table. 

This episode was way too boring to merit a real recap, especially when I need to save my energy for tonight’s Assault in the Fantasy Suite, so this recap is going to consist solely of questions that I had throughout the episode, please feel free to share your answers:

Did they not show JP’s talks with all the parents since he just gave the same rehearsed speech to all of them?  Is JP too good to ask for permission to marry the women?  Who taught him to eat ribs with his fingertips and why didn’t anyone correct him?  Is anyone surprised that Nikki knows her way around a mechanical bull?  What is the cost of living in Kansas City and does a house that big mean Nikki’s family is rich?  In what world do Nikki and Juan Pablo share a “mental attraction”?  Is Andi’s new ombre hair inspired by Jared Leto?  Is there any better way to win a man’s affection than to completely emasculate him at a shooting range?  Is there even the slightest possibility that Andi and Juan Pablo have witty conversations that go back and forth for hours?  How weird was it when Andi’s mom tried to proposition her daughter’s boyfriend?  Will Andi’s dad ever “essept” JP and Camila?  Can Andi’s dad be the next Chris Harrison?  Did Juan Pablo actually understand that Andi’s dad does not approve of this relationship?  Whose idea was it for Juan Pablo to meet Renee’s son right before he dumped her?  Is that kid super awkward, or did he just not want to be on camera?  If Renee was madly in love with JP after 8 weeks and a single 1-on-1 date, is it really any mystery why she’s a single mom?   After seeing how old her parents are, does Renee still really expect us to believe she's 32?  Does Clare talk about anything other than her father?  Does the appearance of every single one of Clare's sisters not terrify Juan Pablo for how Clare is going to age?  How does Juan Pablo manage to make Clare’s grieving about him?  What is the age range of Clare’s sisters?   How much would it suck to be one of the ugly sisters (to be fair, it’s most of them, so strength in numbers I guess)?  Will Laura be the next Bachelorette?  Did anyone else think Clare’s mom was either slow or senile until she was finally allowed to speak?  Why is the way they say "mama" so creepy?  WHY DID WE NOT SEE THE VIDEO FROM CLARE’S DAD???  Everyone catch when Clare said she’s not in love yet but would accept a proposal “in a heartbeat”?  Was that the least shocking rose ceremony in Bachelor history since it was glaringly obvious from the previews (and the cover of US Weekly) who made it to the Fantasy Suites?  If I keep killing my brain cells by watching this show, will I one day be as dumb as Juan Pablo?